What in the world is Criss-Cross Applesauce? Baby Billy, Andy, and Jarrett join Mollie in the studio and discuss what you can and cannot say in front of your kids, what exactly are you supposed to tell your kids to call their "pee pee's," and HOW do you keep your kids from sleeping in the bed with you. Is Andy a murderer? Has Mollie been banned from Target? Jarrett survives taking his three-year-old daughter potty in the men's room. AND did his daughter cuss in the pizza shop? What to say, what not to say, and how to handle it all with humor.
Newly impregnated and mom to a toddler, work-from-home mom Jenny V. sits down with Mollie and Sherry to discuss her pregnancy symptoms and what it is like to care for a toddler when you really want to nap. Dietitian Sherry Berg weighs in on what Jenny V. can and cannot eat and what will help with fatigue and nausea. Baby horoscopes, the hairy contestants on Survivor, best books and bikes for babies, this episode is jam-packed with pointers and advice. Did Mollie's energy affect Bill's diaper changes? Did Bill tell Mollie, "Bye Bye?" Will Marty enable the ladies to gain 600 pounds? And what is it REALLY like to be pregnant the second time around? This episode is equal parts hilarious and informative.
Mollie’s husband Jon regretfully joins Mollie’s show to discuss flying across the country with a baby, his love language in marriage, how to have sex at your in-laws', and all the amazing plans he has when she dies. Marty’s lover Claire confesses that Marty’s shit does not stink, AND that there is a CLASS for grandparents to refresh them on how to care for their grandbaby. Does eating cat shit make dogs live longer? Does Virgin Airlines make you horny? How do you FAIL at watching your kid at other people’s houses that are NOT child-proofed? Marty, Claire, Jon, and Mollie keep you laughing while answering all these questions. Spoiler alert: Bill takes his first steps at Grandma's!
The new moms are exhausted and punchy. Mollie sits with Jenny and Edith and confesses her baby’s latest developmental leap and everyone asking “is he walking?” has put her over the edge. The women talk about how to navigate unsolicited comments and questions from strangers with humor. The girls discuss the trials and tribulations of being “older moms”. Mollie admits she cussed out her one-year-old. Edith asks how to have a good sex life after the baby and talks about all the bald white babies at her mommy and me groups. Swallowing pennies, going potty in public with your baby, stopping breastfeeding--new mom shit, raw, candid, uncensored, and honest.
Notes: Man was I pissed during this show! Sorry for the F bombs folks, I was just really over it. I know not to let the leaps and my insecurities from other people's comments piss me off so much. We are in a much better place now.
Did we sound like June Cleaver talkin’ about meeting our husband’s sexual needs? Maybe a little. Oh well, June and Ward had a pretty rockin’marriage. If you know anything about men, then you know they are pretty simple. Feed them, F*ck them, and tell them they are awesome weekly and they will do whatever you want. We love our husbands, and unless you have a medical condition and your husband's a sexual deviant, try giving him a little lovin’ every week and everyone will be in a better mood. Sex is like exercising: you might not want to do it, but if you do it every week you will be a in a better mood and you will feel better once you start.
Get these two books: The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp and The Wonder Weeks. The Wonder Weeks has an app, too.
Mollie, Andy, and Jarrett sit down and talk honestly about LOW T and how role reversals in marriage work. Is it the same when mom works and dad stays home? Jarrett talks about being a stay-at-home dad. Mollie speaks candidly about her husband’s journey of readjustments after the Iraq war. Do fathers have LOW T? Andy admits he caught low T off a toilet in West Hollywood. Do “sammiches” make moms horny?
Notes: Here is the article I mentioned: http://healthland.time.com/2011/09/13/why-do-dads-have-lower-levels-of-testosterone/ If you are a wife of a war veteran and wish to contact me privately about adjustment issues in your home and how you can best support your spouse, please submit your question privately through “ask Mollie”. I also want to comment that for some families it works for the dad to stay home and the mom work away from the house. It did not work for me and Jon, and it did not work for Jarrett and his wife. It also did not work for me to be a 100% stay-at-home mom, but I will get to that in future episodes.